men's mental health awareness series 26

What We Must Teach the Boys We’re Raising

Jun 30, 2025

Dearest Gentle Reader,

The future is not waiting in some distant place. It’s sitting on the floor with scraped knees, asking big questions with small voices. The future is the boys we’re raising. These boys are the sons, nephews, students, street kids, and boys we once were, looking for a mirror that doesn’t distort them.

And we must be mindful of what we are teaching them.

Are we passing down silence like inheritance?

Are we teaching them that boys are stones who don’t cry, break, nor ask questions?

Are we raising them to value dominance over connection?

Are we moulding them into sculptures of pride over vulnerability?

Are we teaching them to choose power over presence?

Or are we teaching them how to feel, to speak up, and be strong without being violent?

Are we raising them to know how to lose without crumbling?

Are we teaching them how to apologise, to love and not merely perform?

We cannot continue to complain about broken men while raising boys to be stones at the cost of their humanity. This circle has to stop with you. Me. Us!

The boy watching you doesn’t need you to be flawless. He needs you to be honest.

Our boys need to know that it’s okay to cry and still be brave. They should be taught that their worth isn’t tied to achievements. That love is not weakness. That masculinity is neither a cage nor toxic.

Let the boys know that tenderness and toughness can exist in the same body.

Teach them to respect women without demeaning himself.

Teach them that their emotions are not enemies.

Show them by example how to listen, how to pause, how to stay when things get hard.

If you never heard these things growing up, be the man who says them now. Yes, break the pattern. Start the conversation. Apologise when you get it wrong. Let the next generation see a version of manhood that includes softness, empathy, and accountability.

This is important because when we raise boys who believe they must never feel, we raise men who harm themselves and others. But when we raise boys who are free to be whole, we raise men who dismantle stereotypes.

Let’s raise boys to be better men.

— Jaachịmmá Anyatọnwụ