men's mental health awareness series 1

Dearest Gentle Reader, Why Don’t Men Cry?

Dearest Gentle Reader,

This is coming late, but better late than never, they say. June is men's mental health awareness month. So, for the remainder of the month, I'll be dedicating my writings to this cause.

For today's issue, I'd like to start with a now controversial and, most times, considered shameful and funny, saying; “men don't cry.”

Why don’t men cry?

Seriously, why is it that so many men, even in their deepest pain, hold it in?

If you don't know why, here's what I think: boys are taught early on that emotions are a liability. We were taught that if we show sadness, or let the tears fall, we’re weak. We’re soft. We’re not “man enough.” And that belief gets reinforced everywhere—in homes, classrooms, boys hostel, and even in religious circles.

So by the time most men hit adulthood, crying isn’t just uncomfortable—it feels like failure. It feels like letting someone down. Like something shameful.

But crying is literally one of the most human things we can do. It’s the body’s way of saying “I need to release this before it breaks me.”

So, why aren't men allowed to show such a relieving emotions?

I’ve known men who have been through unspeakable loss. I've seen men who've lost parents, had divorces, had breakdowns, broken under the weight of pressure. But they couldn’t articulate and still wouldn’t allow themselves to cry. Not even alone.

Because somewhere along the line, someone told them that emotions made them less. Someone made them believe vulnerability was weakness. And that message has cost us so much.

So if you’re a man reading this, please be reminded that crying is not a weakness.

Feeling deeply is not something to hide.

You don’t need to “man up” when you're on the verge of emotions breakdowns. You need to let yourself be human.

Please.

Look out for tomorrow's issue.

—Jaachịmmá Anyatọnwụ

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PS 1: Reach out to a man today and genuinely ask him how he's doing. Inquired about his work (if he's employed), academics (if a student), vocation (if self employed), relationship (if in any), personal goals and plans. And if when he opens up, listen. Just listen. Don't judge. Don't make comparisons. Don't interrupt. Just let him pour out his heart.

PS 2: If you meet a man today, hug him. I'll take the lead on this one. I'm gonn' give my brother a hug the instant I publish this.