men's mental health awareness series 21

Men and Anxiety: It’s Not Just Stress

Jun 25, 2025

Dearest Gentle Reader,

Did you know that anxiety is one of the most misunderstood mental health struggles, especially when it shows up in men?

Anxiety, for men, doesn’t always look like the textbook definition. I mean, there's often no panic attacks, pacing, nervous fidgeting, visible distress, or all those noticeable symptoms you’d identify in an anxious woman.

Sometimes, it disguises itself as anger, irritability, control, chronic restlessness, or a man who keeps busy because he’s afraid to sit still with his own thoughts.

Ever noticed that pattern in a man you know, or even yourself?

Many men say they’re “just stressed,” but what they’re really feeling is a constant, unnamed pressure pressing down on their chest, making everything feel urgent, uncertain, and overwhelming. And because they’ve never been taught how to name it, it gets dismissed, misdiagnosed, or worst still, buried.

And it's a grooming and conditioning problem.

I know I've repeated the succeeding paragraph many times in this series, but I'll write it against and again, until a change happens in our world. So…

From a young age, boys are taught to be “tough.” They’re told to bottle up, to “man up,” to push through, to solve problems quickly, and above all, never show fear or uncertainty. Vulnerability is seen as weakness, and admitting you don’t feel in control is often ridiculed.

Sadly, this conditioning doesn’t disappear in adulthood; it evolves into men who don’t talk about what they’re experiencing, men who joke about their struggles, men who deflect with work and sex or food and alcohol, and men who suffer in silence.

But anxiety is not just “stress,” man. It is not something you can always push through. Let me explain that…

Stress is usually tied to specific events—a deadline, a traffic jam, a major life transition, or hectic day.

Anxiety, on the other hand, lingers. It whispers worst-case scenarios into your mind even on calm days. It wakes you up at 2 a.m. with racing thoughts. It shows up as digestive issues, a clenched jaw, tight shoulders, chest tightness, or fatigue that no amount of sleep can fix. The body begins to carry what the voice refuses to express.

See the difference?

We need to change the conversation around anxiety for men.

We need to stop waiting for breakdowns before we begin to take mental health seriously.

It shouldn’t have to get “bad enough” before you’re allowed to speak.

There is no shame in saying, “I feel anxious.” Feel free and unashamed to name what you’re going through, even if you don’t fully understand it yet.

Mindfulness, self care, journaling, rest, and honest conversations are not luxuries or last resorts. They are tools for staying alive, present, and whole.

So, if you’re reading this and you’ve been feeling on edge, drained, overwhelmed by things that didn’t used to affect you, or stuck in a loop of constant worry, please find help. Anxiety is not something you have to carry alone, and it’s not something you have to fight with silence.

Help exists.

Peace of mind is possible.

But it starts with admitting you need it, and allowing yourself to receive it.

—Jaachịmmá Anyatọnwụ