men's mental health awareness series 18

The Unspoken Bond: Platonic Male Affection

Jun 23, 2025

Dearest Gentle Reader,

There’s a scene I keep replaying in my mind:

Two men at a bus park, one reaches out to hug the other. But midway, he hesitates. Settles for a slap on the back. Quick laugh. Mask back on. Life continues.

We see it every day.

We see the deflection, the swallowed warmth, and that invisible line that says, this is close enough.

But why?

Why is platonic male affection so rare… so clumsy… so shrouded in suspicion?

For centuries, masculinity has been policed by a narrow script: Be strong. Be hard. Be distant. Don’t need anyone, don’t hold too long, don’t talk too deep.

To show affection without sexual undertone or look another man in the eye and say “I love you, bro” without flinching is radical. Abnormal. Weird.

And yet, that kind of affection is medicine. It says: “You are safe here. You don’t have to perform. I’ve got room for the real you.”

The tragedy is that many men go years—a lifetime even—without ever hearing it. Many go decades without receiving touch that isn’t transactional, or being held outside of romance or emergency.

But affection is not weakness. Is it? Why is it considered weakness in men?

Affection is the language of recognition.
It is how humans say: You matter to me. I honour your presence in my life. I will not let this world isolate you into stoic silence.

When we withhold affection out of fear or condemnation by skewed societal standards, we rob ourselves and each other of something sacred.

But when we give it freely and unapologetically, we build bridges back to our own humanity.

To the man reading this, ask yourself: